IFJM 26/April/2015

Sunday, 26th April — [no written entry, image only]

IFJM 25/April/2015

Saturday, 25th April — [no written entry, image only]

IFJM 24/April/2015

Friday, 24th April — [no written entry, image only]

IFJM 23/April/2015

Thursday, 23rd April — New therapy is hard. K. mentioned surgery if ECT does not work.

IFJM 20/April/2015

Monday, 20th April — I'm dreading K.'s appointment tomorrow, I'm afraid he will see no significant improvement.

IFJM 19/April/2015

Sunday, 19th April — I'm exhausted. Perhaps they're right and they know better. 

IFJM 16/April/2015

Thursday, 16th April — Some areas are restricted to the guests now so I'm not able to roam when and wherever I please. Less chances to find unexpected things to draw. 

IFJM 15/April/2015

Wednesday, 15th April — I'm not enjoying my baths anymore. Tried to talk to K. to no avail. 

IFJM 12/April/2015

Sunday 12th April — How stubborn my brain can be. Insists in adapting the reality to what it thinks it is. 

My brain does not care about truths. Its only interest is definition, sharp edges, the limits in shapes. 

My eyes try to speak louder but my hands keep moving, confused.

Brain always wins.

IFJM 11/April/2015

Saturday 11th April -- I found the sewing room but didn't feel like entering. I walked outside instead and sat on a bench near the windows.

A garden's worker got me this onion as he walked past me. Too lazy to go and get my paints so I just drew. 

IFJM 10/April/2015

Friday 10th April — An uninterrupted night's sleep. K. suggested I should try some other classes besides my occasional drawing and painting sessions. 

I'm not sure I will. The bath session was all right, enjoyable even but I'm not so sure I need to fill my days with more activities. Just walking in the gardens and enjoying some quite time seem to be a comfort enough for me.

IFJM 08/April/2015

Wednesday 8th April --  I've added colour to this sketch I drew on Sunday. 

I'm not sure who this is but he didn't mind me staring at him. He was quiet (I appreciate that in my subjects) and when I said I was done he left without a word. I don't think he's a member of the staff. Or maybe he is. 

I'll see if I can find him again some other time. It's too loud in here today. 

IFJM 06/April/2015

Monday, 6th April — An unnecessarily long day. 

The light feels weird and my eyes are hurting. This paper is too absorbent, the pen makes blobs if I don't draw fast enough. 

I've ordered an early dinner as I'm looking forward to bedtime.

IFJM 05/April/2015

Sunday, 5th April —  I rested for the most part of yesterday and got three sketches in a row today – 

The proportions in the third sketch were all wrong and I kept restating the lines. It was a mess already so I thought that I could not make it any worse with paint. Looks better now.

Subject was happy as she said I had improved her features (she kept talking all the time when she was posing so yes, I might have been painting without more than a few quick glances at her). 

IFJM 03/April/2015

3rd April - A quick pen sketch and another in pencil today. The subjects kept moving. And talking. But I was determined to finish.

In the evening I painted both, not much else to do either. I wish I would have brought another sketchbook, this paper won't take washes and I can only use thick gouache. 

But I'm surprised to find that I'm not missing my paintbox. Three colours (plus white) seem more than enough now. 

IFJM 01/April/2015

1st April – I picked up my gouache tubes and tried my hand with one of the sketches I did yesterday. 

Subject is not happy, she does not recognize herself –

... and she may have a point, the face is highly distorted, but I love the (almost) tactile volume of it. 

I wouldn't touch hers for anything though.